I had to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry

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Early this year, I was hurt badly by someone I trusted. I was so angry that I wished terrible things to happen to him, I wished him a double dose of Karma, if it exists. I was sending mean and horrible messages to him for a while, but he never reacted, never responded to any of my text messages, Whatsapp messages, phone calls, never apologized, nothing! He instead blocked me on social media, never picked up my calls and I haven’t heard from him in almost a year.

When he cut off all communication, it agitated me even more and I started planning ways of getting back at him. Friends were telling me to just forget about him and let karma or God deal with him, but I was so consumed with anger, I didn’t want to hear it. I was so angry that at one point my blood pressure was so high I had to stay home from work for a few days.  Getting sick made me realize that holding on to so much anger was only hurting me, while the person who hurt me was living his life. I told me myself I needed to find it in my heart to forgive him as hard as it was.

I started praying for peace that could only come from God for me to be able to forgive because the anger I was feeling, I don’t know what crazy stuff I would have done to him if I met him. It wasn’t easy but as a Christian, I am commanded to forgive though I struggled with it for a long. I’ve been hurt before and I was able to forgive because the people who wronged me asked for forgiveness but this time it was very hard because the person hurt me intentionally and never showed any remorse, never apologized or ask for forgiveness, so I thought my forgiveness would be in vain.

One day, during my reflection, I came across a verse that reminded me of God’s forgiveness towards me and it became very clear to me that I needed to forgive that person. I know that if God kept a record of all my wrongs, I wouldn’t be here today, so last week,  I sent an email telling the person in question that I forgive him. Being angry at him was blocking my prayers and the blessings that God has for me. The bible says:  ‘And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins’, Mark 11:25 – NIV

I also had to forgive myself because I hated myself for being so stupid and too trusting to let him take advantage of my kindness. I think forgiving myself has been the hardest because I know I have a good heart and but it’s also my weakness. I care too much about people who don’t give a rat’s knees about me.

My prayer is that God gives me wisdom and discernment to know and see through people with evil intentions because I am afraid my experiences might make me care less about others which I wouldn’t want to happen. I also need to listen to my instincts, they are always on point but sometimes I choose to ignore, which is a terrible mistake.

In case you are struggling to forgive someone, I would urge you to find it in your heart to forgive that person. I know it’s easier said than done but God does give peace beyond human comprehension. If you asked me a few months ago to forgive this person, I would have told you it was impossible but with time and prayer,  I was able to do it and now I am now at peace.

Sometimes you don’t get closure, you just move on and I know that my God will avenge for me, vengeance is His after al.

The new year 2018, has a big blessing with my name on it, I will let anyone make me miss out on that, so entering without baggage on my mind.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you!

God bless!

 

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40 comments

  1. Greetings! This was a great post and resonated with me. I had to forgive and let go of many things this year. It was so heavy. When I would wake up in the morning it would be on my mind. Throughout the day and before I laid down to rest at night it was on my mind. I couldn’t understand how someone could hurt you without a care in the world. This goes for any type of relationship like business partners, family, etc. I made my mind up to forgive them and to forgive myself. I cried and cried as I sat there and spoke out loud to everyone (in my mind’s eye) who has hurt me that I forgive them. I also ended by forgiving myself. After that I felt much relief and those situations and people no longer have dominion over my happiness. Some of the individuals are not cut completely out of my life as they are family but I am able to look at them and not feel hurt. I have learned so much. Forgiving is not for the other person for sure, it is for you!
    Love and light!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I went through all that too….I couldn’t believe that a person who claimed to care about me could do what he did. I couldn’t sleep for weeks and my blood pressure was constantly high…..Indeed, forgiveness is more for you than the other person. I also felt a weight off my shoulder when I forgave the person who hurt me. I am glad you forgave the people who wronged you too. Thanks for taking time to read my post and that you could relate. Stay blessed!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t know but forgiving someone non deserving of it ia quite hard. At some point I kept a grudge and then I tried to come off it because I felt I was cheating and robbing myself off happiness. But still, I may have forgiven, but a good part of myself has been stripped because of someone else’s human nature. which is unfair. Thank God for the knowledge we have of Him and thank God God isn’t man!

    Idle head

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t know but forgiving someone non deserving of it ia quite hard. At some point I kept a grudge and then I tried to come off it because I felt I was cheating and robbing myself off happiness. But still, I may have forgiven, but a good part of myself has been stripped because of someone else’s human nature. which is unfair. Thank God for the knowledge we have of Him and thank God God isn’t man!

    Idle head

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you. Believe me I held a grudge for a very long time too because the person really hurt and me. I can honestly say that even now I ask myself if my forgiveness was in vain cos I hear from others that the person has done the same thing to a lot of people and has still continued but I did it for me. I leave him in the hands of God and I believe He will avenge for me in His time. Can you believe I have so much peace that I pray for the fool? For him to turn his life around and not burn in hell as I prayed before. Lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh dear. Being a Christian sure isn’t an easy lifestyle. It’s all about inner peace and what He’d want us do right? His strength makes perfect our weakness! Jesus will erase our hurt COMPLETELY with time. Amen.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. You can’t let anger get the best of you. Sometimes it consume us so much and we don’t even realize the damage it is causing. Unfortunately, it took a year for to come to terms with but the revelation is what’s important. You’re strong for doing this this, but staying angry at someone who has no clue is a way of them punishing us as well. Glad you pulled through.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, that’s why I decided to let go and forgive. The anger was eating me up inside and it was literally making me sick. It took but I finally did it and I am glad I did. Thank you so much for your encouragement

      Like

  5. I loved this. It really spoke to me. I was hurt a couple of years ago more deeply than I ever thought possible. I too had to forgive. Although one of the people who hurt me was apologetic, I don’t really think they understand how deeply they truly hurt me or how much it really affected me. I ran into this person the other day and just like love is a verb, so is forgiveness. It is something that we have to choose to do and it is something I am still working toward. Although I have forgiven, I still have difficult days, days where I hurt and days that I have to choose all over again to forgive. I have spent so much time in prayer. That helps more than anything! Thanks for sharing! I hope you have a year full of blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I am glad to hear that! It takes a lot prayer and peace from God to be able to forgive. What made it even harder for me was because the person was not apologetic and that made me very angry. I still pray about it because like you I still have tough days sometimes but God is working on me.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Wonderful post! So glad I read this. Has me thinking about friends that my family has had to cut off and how angry I am with them. I would love to find some sort of peace and be the “bigger person”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad you read my post and encouraged to forgive everyone who wronged you. I pray you find strength and peace to forgive them because only then can you move on and the weight will be off your shoulders

      Like

    1. It is tough and it was very tough for me too. It took a lot praying to receive the peace I needed to be able to forgive and I am glad I did. I left it to God to handle it for me – vengeance is His…

      Like

  7. hii 🙂 it’s no small feat what you managed to do! Reading this post, made me really think about how i have people that i need to forgive, but i lack the strength. But a part of me understands that i need to forgive myself first and gain the strength to move on from all the toxicity.
    thank u once again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! No it wasn’t at all but I am glad I did. It lifted the weight off my shoulders. I also had to forgive myself because I bashed myself for allowing certain situations and people into my life. Its not easy but it had to be done for me move on with my life. Thanks for reading

      Like

  8. It’s very hard to forgive someone that isn’t deserving of it. But one thing I’ve learned is that I refuse to allow that person to continue to have a hold on me emotionally and mentally. Thank you for sharing your story as I’m sure several others can relate as well and learn what to do to move forward and find their strength in God to forgive.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. What a beautifully written message! Forgiveness is hard, almost impossible at times. My dad once told me that forgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. How true! I’m so glad God gave you the strength to forgive and move forward. May He continue to bless you and keep you in His perfect peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m so glad I read this today. It helped a really challenging discussion I had with an employee today, whom I thought was a friend, but in fact had acted like anything but. I had to accept the situation and still act maturely, whether or not she could apologise genuinely or not. And I learnt a lot in the few hours that I spoke to her this morning to try manage the employment relationship. Our scenarios differ, but the idea behind it is important to remember in any situation. Forgive those even when they can’t express their regrets. You will move on and be happier.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Forgiveness is so much more for our own benefit than for the other person’s. Especially if that person is out of the picture. We forgive so we can have the closure we need, and so we can move on. Holding onto the hurt and anger only keeps us from living fully.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I agree, its fine to get angry but staying angry is keeping yourself burdened. I don’t wanna stay unhappy in a day because life is too short. I might die in that time and I don’t want too look ugly when I die, lol. Its always be better to forgive to those who are not even sorry its for your own peace of mind.

    Liked by 1 person

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